My Heart CH.26

My Heart: A Joshayley Story CHAPTER 26

HAYLEY'S POV:
The week following the absence of Josh and our fight, I was sure I would have died of guilt for yelling at him like that. No, I should have died. The entire thing was threatening to swallow me whole--he was everything to me.
It was intense, the pressure between us during the following week. In science, he sat next to Jaelyn. After what she did to us? It was very unlike Josh to do that--but I couldn't bring myself to question him, for she seemed even better than me at the moment. They even talked.

During the fourth and fifth periods, Jaelyn and Josh were working together. By the end of the school day, she was with him, ready to walk home with him. I couldn't believe it. Did the two start going out before I even knew? It was strange and utterly pathetic to be following them home--it was stalking, really, but there was an inexplicable want inside of me that just craved to know what the two would be up to. And I needed to follow the two home, not merely to satisfy my curiosity--but more to save my sanity.
Did he find a retreat in Jaelyn? Or was he just trying to make me jealous? It was too hard to think and walk and feel the snarl of emotions threaten to consume me, because right when Josh and Jaelyn approached his house's front porch, she kissed him softly.
And there was something so gentle about it--it reminded me of the way he kissed me.

And it was enough to make my heart sink.

They really were going out, weren't they? Or was she helping him in making me jealous? If that was the case, he definitely did a wonderful job. I was jealous, and hurt. Before anyone could see that I was there, I ran toward my house, in a pace so brisk that it left my legs weak and aching as I arrived on the front steps.
Once I opened the door, I slammed it hard, so hard I'm sure I broke it, along with the house's foundation.
My mom ran downstairs with a horrified expression upon hearing the slammed door. "What in the world is wrong, Hayley?!" She yelled, with a tone only a concerned mother could pull off so well.
I sighed and shook my head--as if the gesture could shake all my thoughts together and make all of this make sense. "I'm sorry," I said, in a tone so barely audible that I questioned whether she heard it or not. What was I thinking? "It's Josh. He's just...ugh. I'm mad. Really mad. He's dating this girl, I think they're dating...I don't know. I'm so confused. I don't know what to think, what to feel. It's like--I just don't know. I just don't, mom."
My mom nodded. Then she smirked.
"What?" I asked her, irritated now. How could she think this was funny?
"I'm sure you two will eventually find each other again," she said, so surely, so completely surely that I didn't even bother hesitating to contradict it.
I shook my head, frowning. "Doubt it. This time he officially broke up with me. And started dating Jaelyn!"
"Who in the world is Jaelyn?" My mom asked.
"The devil's little helper," I mumbled.
My mom looked at me with an expression that made me immediately regret what I just said. "Why would you think of someone like that, Hayley? I raised you better," she exclaimed.
I nodded, defeated by mom's stare. "Okay, okay," I sighed, "I know. I really should forget about him anyways."
"Now wait a second," my mom replied quickly, "I never said forget about Josh. You never even apologized, Hayley. Settle it and be friends before you go. You said you were even unsure whether or not the two are dating! How do you know that you two are broken up for good?"
I sighed. My mouth was half open and ready to shoot something back at her--but my throat was constrained, and I lost the will to speak.
Mom always knew what was right. And she was right. Tomorrow for sure, I had to talk to Josh.

Something woke me up in the middle of the night.
There was something--and this time, it was a worse feeling than what I felt when those burglars came in to grab the stuff from my house.
And I was terrified.
I stirred in my bed before looking up--and I didn't miss what was towering above me. There, lurking right above my bed, was a large masked man that seemed hidden in the shadow.
Before I could gasp in terror, before I could even react--he grabbed my face and covered my mouth with enough force that I could hardly open my mouth. I definitely made an effort to, however, squirming and trying to squeal in his arms as he kept a strong grip against my body. I was virtually helpless, defenseless, and being kidnapped in the middle of the night against my own will.
My mother wasn't around. No one was around to help me.
My eyes shot frantically in all directions as he carried me across the house, soon covering my eyes swiftly with a blindfold. He threw me into the trunk of his car, that much I could tell. I hated being only 5' 2", right at that moment. I fit perfectly in the trunk, my small size no advantage. I let out an ear piercing scream just as the car's engine started, my mouth free from the man's hand--but there was no use.
Nobody would hear me now.
The car began to move, and I started to sweat nervously. I felt the strain in my neck as the car's tight space threatened to close in on me. My nerves were strung and alive like live wires.
My forehead continued to be glazed in sweat.
The blindfold felt like a tight, neverending tug against my eyes, surely leaving some marks once they were taken off.
Thankfully, it wasn't very long until the car halted to a stop.

I heard the car's trunk open and the man carry me again. For a kidnapper, he handled my body with a very gentle, almost caring carress. Yet this did not calm me at all--I was still being kidnapped and could be left for dead.
I was carefully placed on a grass-like surface, and the man untied the blindfold. I glanced around and realized we were in the park, hidden behind the trees. These precious seconds could be the difference between life and death. My conscience reacted quickly--I was able to see, and able to run. I squirmed against the grass and tried to heave myself up before this man could do anything to me.
But he reacted as well--so quickly, lashing out to go grab my wrists and restrain me. "Hayley! Hush!" He whispered.
The figure removed his mask and planted a kiss on my lips before I could run away. His tongue begged for entrance, and I opened my mouth to let him do so. The familiarity was there. The voice was there.
I really needed this right now, even if we were in the middle of a somewhat-break up. When he finally pulled away, I frowned and my eyes narrowed at the sight of him.
"What in the world were you thinking, Josh?" I said, a bit too loud for what was probably 2 AM in the morning.
"I don't know, I needed to talk to you, and I needed you back. Our fights don't last very long, you know," Josh shrugged the event off as if it was no problem at all--like nothing had happened in the last few minutes.
I rolled my eyes, utterly disbelieving. Despite the fear that dissolved into empty void, I was still adrenaline filled after all that alacritic rush, and I was in no mood to joke around. "But what about Jaelyn? Why would you go out with her again?"
I could see him blush, even the dark couldn't drown that out. "I was...well," he stuttered before finally coming out with it. "I was trying to get you jealous."
I scoffed at him smugly. "I knew it," I said quietly. "I did."
We paused there for quite a while before Josh started to talk again. "You never even let me explain," he said.
There was a point in his words--a point that hit me only now with unfathomable force. I shook my head and angled my head in such a way that I was sure to avoid his eyes.
"Can I explain though?" He asked.
I leaned into him and wrapped both arms around his body--holding him there and hoping this gesture would tell him that I was no longer angry. I left my head against his shoulder. "Explain," I said, listening.

It turns out I was stupid for everything. I shouldn't have let this drama boil between us. I'm overly stubborn and too hard headed when it comes to explanations. I couldn't believe I just yelled at Josh without even having good reason. I didn't even know the whole side of the story. Going on without explanation was such a horrid mistake--one I hoped I'd never make again with Josh.

"Hello?" Jeremy answered.
"Hey Jeremy, it's Hayles," I answered meekly.
Jeremy sighed. "I thought the band was over with already," he began, "I mean honestly, we haven't practiced together in a week. And Zac told me all about the drama that was going on between you and Josh."
"Yeah, yeah, I know," I replied, guilty as charged, "but I never let him explain to me. I was stubborn and stupid, Jerm, and I really wanted to get this band back in shape. That's why during our two week break from school...I'm taking you guys to Florida."
"Florida?" Jeremy asked, hit with the surprise that I hoped.
"Yeah, Florida," I repeated.
"Right. Sure, Hayles, nice joke," Jeremy replied, still skeptical.
I groaned, amused how he wouldn't take this seriously. I couldn't blame him though--the offer was so blatant and unexpected. I would have reacted the same way, I guess. "Okay, I guess I'll just take Zac then if you don't want to go."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I never said I didn't want to go. You're serious about this?" Jeremy asked.
"I think I made that clear earlier," I said with a laugh.
"No way, Hayley! I'm so in on this."
"Okay, Jeremy," I replied, "And I'm sorry for forgetting about the band because of Josh and my stupid little fight. You will not believe what he did just to talk to me."
"What did he do?" Jeremy asked eagerly.
"I'll tell you when we all meet up at Josh's...say...six-ish? Zac ought to know, too."
"Okay, Hayley. See you then."

Zac and Jeremy let out a roaring laughter only they as a duo could posses. "You put her in your trunk?" They asked, faces red, eyes nearly stinging with tears as they restrained laughter. And there was nothing that was able to supress my laughter, either. The two and their hilarity and enthusiasm were contagious. "And I fit perfectly!" I added.
Josh tried to smile, but it was faltering, and he was blushing like mad. "It was the only way, okay?" He replied.
Zac and Jeremy poked at him and started teasing him about the whole kidnapping ordeal once more. "I cannot wait until mom hears this," Zac said. Josh's entire face turned bright red, and he forced a smile. "Dude, don't tell mom," he pleaded. "Let me think..." Zac began, one finger on his chin, "No."
Josh glared back at him nastily, but Zac did not give in. "I'm still telling mom," he said.

-------------
That was a pretty short chapter. Hope you enjoyed! I dislike drama, but you all know it had to be done. At least it's all over now, right? :-) Thanks to everyone who read Shattered and is still reading My Heart. I can't believe you guys have stayed with my fics for this long. I appreciate you all very much and really wish I could give you all a hug!

My Heart CH.25

My Heart: A Joshayley Story
CHAPTER 25

HAYLEY'S POV:
As school was coming to a close, I thought we would go somewhere for another live show, out of Tennessee during the summer. But for now the final tests were coming, and I was stressing way too much. If this band thing didn't work out, I needed a Plan B. The more I thought of it, the more I doubted our band. We didn't even have a band name yet. We did some live shows without even saying our band name. That's when I knew we needed one, and fast. I called another band meeting.

"Can we go back to Hot Wheels?" Zac asked, hopeful.

Josh groaned and looked over at his brother. "I thought we settled this already."

The answer set Zac's expression into a deep-set frown, well, more a pout, really. "Come on!!"

I only laughed as the two shot back and fourth at each other with words. "Stop it, you guys," I finally said.

"So Hayley, you haven't pitched in any ideas at all lately. Got any?" Josh asked. Everyone turned their heads toward me. It was strangely awkward, and there was a pause. "Well, since you put me on the spot," I began, "I was thinking....maybe...no, it's stupid."

"Come on, Hayles! There isn't a right or wrong answer in this one," Josh assured me.

"Okay...well..." I started pausing again but the curious look in all their faces had begged me to go on. "I was thinking...Paramore."

The rest of the band turned towards each other in some silent conversation that they seemed to only understand. There was some kind of compromise being worked out, and based on the looks on their faces, they were considering the idea. "It's not bad. I actually like it," Zac said, nodding.

"Yeah, how did you think of it, Hayles?" Josh asked.

"It means secret lover...well, the homonym, that is. I just changed up the spelling to P-A-R-A-M-O-R-E. And it's from one of my old friend's maiden names. I just thought it sounded cool."


The rest of the band had adopted the name and soon we became so used to it that it was official. It became more comfortable introducing the band as Paramore on our local shows. We usually did one live show every week or two, and continued writing songs. The other half of the time I was studying hard for our final exams. If I didn't pass, I would kill myself. Okay, so not that drastic, but still, I really think I'd explode. The more I stressed, the more I felt myself drift from our band. Each rehearsal I'd have my head stuck in a book sometimes. The guys would have to snap me back into reality and out of study-world. I couldn't believe myself. I'd blow Josh off sometimes just to study harder. I wasn't making much progress with my personal relationship with him. I couldn't blame him if he started to hate me. I hated myself right now, completely stressed about finals and tests. If I wanted to patch things up, this might be the right time to.

"Hayles?" Josh answered on the other line.
"Josh...I miss you."
"Yeah...I've been missing you, um, the past two weeks. You've been super busy." Josh stressed the word busy, saying it in a way that made me feel shame for lying to him for the tests.
"You want to go out tonight?" I offered.
"Nah...I'm busy studying," Josh replied honestly.
Ironic, I thought to myself. "You think I can study with you?" I asked.
Josh laughed softly and agreed. "See you here, then."

I appeared at his doorway only minutes after the conversation with a pile load of books. "Hey," I greeted, as Josh opened the door with a bright grin, a grin so happy that I was almost sad to see it go. "I think we need to catch up on more than the studying. Sorry I haven't been," I sighed to myself, "Josh, I'm sorry I was blowing you off every time you offered to go out. It's just I'm freaked over these tests. I don't know if we will pass. I mean it's not like I don't want to do music for a living, because I do, but what if we don't make it so well in the music industry? I'm stressing over a plan B, so to speak."
In a gentleman like manner, Josh took the books out of my arms and led me inside. I rubbed the temples of my forehead gently and sighed again. "I really need some tea right now."

Josh handed me my tea and sat down next to me in the living room. I smiled up at him as he handed me the cup, feeling completely undeserving for a person who cared so much; too much. "Thanks," I said, sipping, wishing I could give him more than words. Almost as quickly as I had gulped the tea down, I spit it out and blew it all over his shirt. Josh just laughed and shrugged it off. "Sorry, forgot to tell you it was hot." I got up and began trying to help him. My efforts weren't working out so well, when all I had were my hands. "Don't worry Hayley," he said, grabbing my fretting hands off of his shirt, "it's okay. I've got another shirt in the laundry room."
He rushed over somewhere and was back out in the living room with another shirt. As he lifted it over his head, my damn hormones started kicking in. Although it should have been so easy to watch him now, his bare chest exposed, considering how completely comfortable we were around each other, I found myself being unable to breathe. Dear Lord, I was fucking hyperventilating.
"Umm..Hayley?" He asked, his face confused.
I entered back into reality and gaped at him for a while. "Huh?"
"You ready to study?" He asked with a laugh, realizing what was going on. I sighed. The embarrassment sent a flush of red into my cheeks.
"Yes," I squeaked, sitting next to him.
It didn't take too long for us to stop focusing on studying and start pitching ideas for songs. We had a manuscript paper in front of us and I started writing lyrics. I had already let my feelings about Josh write the song out for me. It only took thirty minutes to produce my own melodic lyrics for it. I entitled it Brighter, and showed it to Josh. As he read over it, I could tell he had already started making little guitar melodies in his own head. He faced me, looking impressed.
"I love it," he said. "As usual."
I smiled and laughed. "It was really for you."
The corners of Josh's mouth pulled up into a wide grin. "Aaww. Thanks Hayles," he said as he wrapped one arm around me.
I smiled at the intimate moment. It felt good to be in Josh's arms again.
He leaned in and kissed me softly. Once he had pulled away, I grabbed the thread of his shirt and pulled him in, kissing him madly. Good the dude didn't fight back, and I found myself being lied down into the carpet as we shared a much needed kiss.

JAELYN'S POV:
I felt like such a stupid idiot for standing outside Josh's wide open window. But what I saw hurt the most. It's not like I didn't see it before, but Hayley and Josh were smack in the middle of a make out session. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to act. I hated Hayley Williams with a passion. I couldn't bear this whole going out thing anymore, I really just could not let him go.
It was a warm and breezy Saturday night when my plan went into action. I left a pile of roses in front of Hayley's doorstep, with a card attached to them.

HAYLEY'S POV:
There was a knock.

I looked up from my books, startled. I cracked the door open to look around for who it was, but there was no one in sight. At my feet though, was a pile of red roses. I smiled as I grabbed for them. Attached was a white card, with 'To: Hayley' written on it. I carefully held the roses in my arms as I tried to open the card.

Hey Hayles,
Meet me at my house tonight.

Love,
Joshie

I grinned and put the roses in one of mom's unused vases before I slipped on a jacket and some Vans. I sprinted towards Josh's house in such a pace that left my legs aching, but wasn't ready for what I saw.

There was Jaelyn, sprawled across Josh's lap, stroking his hair. He looked like he was fighting back, trying to push her off him, but then her lips landed on his, and he didn't pull away. Well, I wouldn't know, because I started to cry. I started to cry so hard it felt like my eyes would blast out of my face. Jaelyn then pulled away and Josh turned towards the window, watching me watch them both. A wave of shock and pain washed over his face as he watched me cry, but I couldn't take it any longer. Jaelyn just smirked. I ran away quickly before he could call after me, locked the door and fell against it, burying my face in my hands.

My phone had constantly rung throughout the night, so much so that I had ended up turning it off. By the morning, I had 48 missed calls, and they all came from Josh. No matter how much I wanted to reply, I couldn't. Jaelyn was involved though, no doubt there was something she had done. He obviously hated her. But why let her into his house? I started to cry as I thought about that night again, such a crisp memory recalling in my brain. I couldn't decide if it was right to talk to him or not. I bottled up all my feelings at once. He knocked constantly on my door that morning, but I begged my mom not to let him in. Although a look of questioning had fallen upon my mother's face, she did not bother to ask me about my decision, and I didn't expect her to. She turned Josh away and his attempts at making contact with me.

It was late night while I sat in front of the television. I was trying to focus on South Park and not my ever recurrent memories, but I couldn't forget. It was all too fresh to forget. Josh knocked again. "Ugh!" I groaned aloud. "Hayley! Let me explain!" He cried from the outside. I rolled my eyes. No chance that was happening. "Hayles I've been knocking since this morning and I swear I won't leave until you open the damn door. Please let me explain!"
I tried to drown out all his knocking my grabbing my Ipod and blasting the music, but somehow his knocking overpowered even my loudest tunes. "Leave me alone, Josh!" I hollered at the door. "Not until you let me talk to you!" He shot back. I groaned in annoyance again. "Josh, you are extremely messed up. Can't you understand English?!" I yelled. "Leave. Me. Alone!"
The knocking had finally stopped, but Monday morning Josh's body was slumped against my door. It was definitely surprised when I noticed his haphazard body shlump into my house as I opened up the door that morning. "What the..." I began. "Josh!" I screamed.
His eyes opened and looked up at me. "Get out!"
He stood up on his feet. "Hayley please," he started.
I rolled my eyes at him. "Stop begging. I'm not ready for your damn explanation."
"Hayley..." he tried to say.
"Don't Hayley me. Just go! Now! If you really cared about me you'd leave me alone, Josh!" I almost cried, I didn't mean what I said, but it's what came out.
He nodded slowly in defeat and started to walk away. The choked up guilt had crept to my throat and I felt as if it was trying to suffocate me. What did I do. The pride swallowed me whole, didn't it?
What perfection was there in pride?
That next school week, Josh didn't show up once.

My Heart CH.24

My Heart: A Joshayley Story CHAPTER 24

The rain washed down over Franklin the morning the band held their first day of auditions. Unfortunately, more people who didn't play bass showed up than those who did. "I'm sorry," Hayley began, staring up at the blond haired girl who stood in the middle of the Farro living room, "our band isn't looking for a singer right now. We are looking for bass players." The girl's eyes fell to the floor and her face flushed red, embarassment enveloping her as she exited. Hayley sighed. "Don't people know how to read anymore?" she asked, picking up one of the posters we had made. "It clearly says we need a bassist!" Josh simply chuckled, he was taking this a lot easier than Hayley was at the moment. He pressed a kiss into the crook of her neck and it was almost enough to calm the nerves that churned in her stomach. "We'll get through the day, Hayles. Next!"

After three whole days of school, homework, and trying to go through the bass auditions, the band had almost given up altogether. Hayley was more frustrated than the rest because she really wanted this band to follow through and be amazing. Her goals for the band were out of this world, almost too large for anyone to comprehend, but they didn't get in her way when it came to what she wanted. But they needed a bassist to achieve all that. By the fourth day, Hayley had almost called off auditions.

But an idea hit her right as she woke up one morning.

"You guys will love him, I swear!" Hayley promised, running out the door. A black van appeared in the driveway and Hayley jumped up, running towards it. "Jeremy!" she hollered, running into a guy's arms. Josh stared back, feeling awkward.

JOSH'S POV:
The dude looked so strange. He was tall, blond, and way too skinny to be normal. He gave the impression of "hippe" with his many plastic bracelets on his wrists and his neon colored shoelaces. He had a bandana wrapped around his forehead, framing his angular face. Was Hayley crazy?

The girl rushed back to me with a look illustrating more excitement than I ever saw before. Intertwining her fingers with mine, she stood on her toes and put her lips up to my ear. "Don't worry, he isn't insane. Just listen to him play," she whispered, as if she read my mind somehow. Although I was less inclined to believe that was true, Hayley's biting-her-lower-lip expression had my questions dissipating somewhere off in the atmosphere.

"Hey dude!" Zac called, holding out his free hand. "Nice to meet you, man!"
Jeremy nodded and raised his eyebrows. "So you guys are Hayley's new band?" he asked.
"I got together with them," Hayley began, "because Josh and I wrote songs together, and not very long after, we had a pile of them. I could show you, if you want."
Jeremy followed us into my house as Hayley grabbed a handful of songs we had been working on. "It's not final, we are obviously still writing, but I know you'll get into right away like with our previous band."
Hayley paused and thought something to herself before snapping back into the situation. "I know you can write amazing things for us, Jerm. Just hear us play! You'll get your mind working on by then," Hayley said.
"Let's go!!" Zac yelled, rushing over towards his drums. "We'll play you the song Pressure. Tell us how you like it!" Jeremy sat against the couch as Zac and I began to play the beginning. "Tell me where our time went," Hayley sang, sounding even better than before.
She must have really wanted to impress this guy.

After the final ring of the guitar and the echo of Hayley's voice rang through the house, we stopped, waiting for Jeremy's rection. I placed my guitar against a stand and leaned against my living room wall, arms crossed.
"Wow," Jeremy said, his eyes wide. He looked impressed, even sounded impressed. "It was awesome, really. And I think I know what I'll play for that. Hang on, I'll be right back."
As Jeremy rushed out the door, Hayley flashed a bright grin towards Zac and me. "This could be really good for us!" She said excitedly. "Actually, I know it will be, because Jeremy seriously is amazing. You guys should just hear him! I should know, I mean we've played in the same band together already. Don't you remember, Josh?"
I thought back to when Hayley sang live shows with that separate funk band from a while back. Thinking back further, I remembered that skinny bassist they had, and Jeremy's face had already come rushing back into my head. "Oh, yeah!" I said, realizing it just now.
Jeremy came running in with a bass in his hands. As he got set up on the couch, he began to strum a simple melody that sounded like Pressure. As he progressed through the song, he made barely any mistakes, really no mistakes, and had his own little groove going. Hayley smiled the entire time he was playing, glancing my direction and nodding every now and then. "You've got mad skills, dude!" Zac exclaimed as he finished. I nodded in agreement, no reason to object. "He does."
"What did I say?!" Hayley asked me, with such a sarcastic bite to her words that I could barely take her seriously.
"He is pretty great," I answered definitively. And I wasn't lying. The dude was amazing. Finally, maybe things would work out with our band.

Throughout the rest of the week Jeremy had so cleverly written his own bass parts for each and every song we did. And the two of us had become friends. Actually, faster than I had ever anticipated. Once you get past the looks, he wasn't such a bad guy. He was funny, even. He and Zac always played around every chance they got. Hayley and I continued focusing on the music. Soon enough, the March dance was coming up at school.

Hayley called a band meeting Saturday morning at my place. She had sounded much too excited for her own good, so there was definitely something up her sleeve.

"Are you sure?" I asked her, doubting the plan.

"Yeah! Super sure! I know we are ready for it. And I miss playing live!" Hayley answered.

"It does sound like a pretty good idea," Jeremy chimed in.

"Dude, we are so ready!" Zac added, placing a hand on my shoulder. I frowned. Nobody was really agreeing with me here and were trying to convince me otherwise.

"It's just a school dance. Big deal. They won't care," Hayley announced, sounding sure. "The school is looking for a local band and this is our shot. We can see how people like our music. If we really do sound as good as it seems."

"Well yeah..."I said slowly, "but what if they hate us?" Hayley walked over to me and took me in her arms. "Josh, that's kind of saying I'm a bad singer." Hayley's eyes turned wide and she pouted, also stroking my hair in the process. I groaned, completely weak to the looks and the carressing that this girl had put me through. It was an advantage on her part, and I just had to get passed it before I gave in to everything. Not that I minded it much, anyways. "Fine," I finally said, a hint of a whine in there, agreeing to all of this. Zac cheered and called us all into a group hug. "To the Hot Wheels!" He said.

"Hot Wheels?" Hayley, Jeremy and I said synonymously.

"Yeah! It's our band name!" Zac replied.

Jeremy shook his head. "No way, dude."
I agreed. Hot Wheels did not embody nor express anything we were about. "We still haven't named our band," Hayley pointed out, her lips morphing into a straight, firm line. "I have no idea what to name our band," she concluded.

"There's got to be something cool we can name it. It's not like we'll be stuck on one name, we can change it up every time until we like something," Jeremy said.

"Yeah...but if you guys can't find a name can we do Hot Wheels?" Zac asked.

"No!" The rest of us said in unison.
Zac frowned, his face crumpling up. "Fine, then! Jeez!"
Hayley laughed at Zac. Soon enough, we all were laughing.

"I can't do this!" I wailed, sitting tightly against a chair. We seemed to be behind the stage, just about ready to play. The rest of the band huddled around me.

"What do you mean, Josh?" Hayley asked arrogantly.

"I can't do this! We can't play live right now! I can't!" I repeated, almost yelling. I felt my face burn red. Heat; slick and hot, flushing my cheeks.

"Josh, calm down! Of course we can do this. We are already ready. We've practiced! How can you say you aren't ready?" Jeremy said, as the rest of the band nodded.

"Dude, don't bail now! It's our first show and you're just going to ditch?" Zac asked me, a slightly angry lilt to his already frustrated voice.

"I said I can't do it! I can't! We need lots of time to work it out! We aren't ready!" I yelled.

I woke up, taking a big gulp of air as I sat up in my bed. I looked around my room, everything was fine, we weren't backstage at school, we weren't going to launch into our show. My lungs were filled with...fire. I felt sick. That dream got my heart racing, my chest aching, I almost had to reach for the air that felt so distant to me. I took tiny breaths as I turned and checked the clock. It was 6:12 AM, and today was Thursday. Tomorrow was the dance. And we had been practicing all week now. I wiped the sweat of my forehead as I sat up. What an insane dream. It felt too real, like it had happened, like it was reality...but hopefully none of it was. I felt like a total idiot just then. I definitely needed some water to calm myself down.

HAYLEY'S POV:
I dashed quickly and made my way to the Farro house down the street from mine. Today, we were going to miss the school day to rehearse. Skipping was never huge on our to-do list, but you gotta do what you gotta do when in a band.

"Band practice time!" I said in a little girl's voice as I pounded hungrily against the door. Zac opened it, still in his pajamas. "Why so early? It's 9 AM!" He complained, still rubbing the sleep from his eyes. I sighed. "Zac, 9 AM isn't early anymore. It's late morning, basically. Come on, we need to get some band time in. Tomorrow is our first ever show!"
"But what if I don't want to practice right now?" He added. I rolled my eyes and made my way inside the house.
"Here," I said, tossing him a granola bar I found on their dinner table, "eat up and get energized. Your going to need it. I really don't want to mess this up." I took out my phone and dialed Jeremy's number.
"Hello?" A voice groaned on the other line.
"It's Hayley. I'm calling for a band practice. You have to be here...well, now."
Jeremy groaned and grunted, there was shuffling noise in the background that I figured to be his feet against the carpet. "Hayley! I kind of want to sleep in today," he said.
"No complaining, Jerm! Just get over here. Tomorrow is our first show."
"I know, Hayley. Shouldn't you all be in school right now anyways?" he asked, getting off topic. "We aren't going to go to school today, Jerm," I replied, "I called a practice. Now please, please, please can you get over here?"
Jeremy sighed loudly and I heard the faint sound of a sink running against a bathroom sink. "Be right there," he muttered.

Once Jeremy had arrived, the living room had been set up for our practice, the couches pushed against the walls and the rest of the junk placed in a temporary spot. Zac was still chewing on some cheese and holding a drumstick in his unoccupied hand.

"Okay, I'm thinking we should start with Pressure," I said, writing out a possible set list. "I really want to capture that whole up-and-down feel. We should start with something energetic, tone it down, and then rise it up."

"Can we add My Heart to the set?" Josh asked. I looked back at him with a smile, reminiscing on the first time he had ever played the song for me. The memory was so completely vivid. I recalled it perfectly--his guitar in his slightly calloused hands, his fingers strumming, his voice smooth and velvet.

"Yeah, we can," I agreed.

"It's going to only be a five song set list, and then the next band playing will take over," Zac pointed out from behind his drums.

"We better pick the best songs then," Jeremy added.

I nodded. "Yeah," I snapped into a quick thought process and thought over what could bring the crowd to their feet. We had a decent amount of songs written out, the only thing now was to see what would catch people's attention. "Can we add Here We Go Again for the second song?"
The rest of the guys nodded along. "My Heart will definitely be last, though. I want to end it with a good, strong song."

"Woah can be thrown in there too," Josh began, "and then Conspiracy. There. I think we've got our set list."

We all agreed as we wrote it down. Thinking about the ingenious guitar riffs that Josh had written up, the bass groove and the perfect drum beats that Zac had created, I had no doubt about the perfection of this show. It would be wonderful.

The nerves had begun to wash over me right as we stood behind the curtain. I was in front of the microphone, and Josh was on my right, Jeremy on my left, and Zac behind. Josh smiled lopsidedly at me as I held the mic stand nervously in my hands. The curtain began to pull open, and it was right then that I realized the size of our crowd. I recognized a few faces, but almost everyone in the school knew me as the girl who dated Josh Farro, nothing less, nothing more. There was something completely wrong with that. They had to see more of me, and this might just be the opportunity to do that. I hope I don't disappoint tonight.

"Hey guys," I began, my voice shaky. I took a quick breath and remembered not to show my fear. I wasn't going to be any more afraid than I already was. "So who's ready for a fun filled dance tonight?" The crowd went wild. Their reaction sent my heart racing a brisk pace. It wasn't fear anymore, not really. It was pure adrenaline that infused my lungs with the snarling happiness that was just about ready to escape me. "Alright!" I agreed, voice louder, more clearer now. "We've got some awesome bands playing for tonight's dance. But for now, I'm Hayley, that's Josh," I began, gesturing to the right side, "that's Jeremy," I continued, gesturing towards our bassist. I turned quickly and raised my hands. "And that is Zac Farro!" I yelled excitedly. Zac beat against his drums quickly before the lights turned off. With the beginning riffs and the ring of the guitars echoing through the speakers, the lights flashed back on, the spotlight hanging over me. I let my voice belt out as loud as I could, and slowly but surely the fear had trickled away into nothing at all.

By the beginning of My Heart, I was ready to just let everything out. The crowd was going wild with each song, dancing energetically. "Okay," I said into the microphone, breathing heavily, "this is our last song of the night." The crowd went "aww" with a genuine disappointment that I was quite surprised to hear. I couldn't help but smile that they were sad to see us go. They must have really liked us.
"Don't worry," I said, "we promise we will be back!"
The crowd roared.
"We'll see you around," I said, as the lights turned off again. The band started up the beginning of My Heart as I sang softly into the microphone. By the end of the song, the crowd had applauded so loud my ears felt as if they'd be unresponsive after tonight. "Thank you!" I thanked them, and with one last gap-toothed smile, we headed out.
We exited off the stage and into the backstage area. Josh embraced me, picked me up, and swung me around the room. I laughed along, enjoying it, the thrum of adrenaline still pulsing in my veins. When he finally put me down, the rest of the band huddled together. "We were awesome!" Zac exclaimed. Bright smiles were on each one of our faces. I felt my stomach grumble. "Who's up for some fried chicken?" I asked. The rest of the band nodded happily as we walked and into the parking lot.

That night, that one amazing live show, was too good to be true. And soon enough, we were already booking other shows in schools and small areas outside of Nashville. The band was off to an amazing start. Who would have thought after starting off in Franklin without any friends or confidence, that I'd end up here? This was definitely an unexpected blessing.
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This is irrelevant but I just started a new fanfic up on buzznet, the link to the first chapter is here. If you'd like please check it out and leave comments. Thank you!

My Heart CH.23 (Part 2)

My Heart:
A Joshayley Story
CHAPTER 23 (PART 2)

JOSH'S POV:
I looked over at the alarm clock next on Hayley's bedside table. It read 5:32 AM. I sighed and rolled back to the other side, looking straight into Hayley's closed eyes. Even in her sleep the cuteness remained, she held with her an air of sweetness that simply could not be ignored. I stroked her bright hair softly, hoping not to wake her, but that plan did not work so well. Once I placed a hand on her, her eyes had started to open and a smile was creeping up across her lips. I smiled back. "Morning," I whispered softly. "I love you." She stroked my

face with her hands and leaned in closer. "I love you, too," she said, while placing a soft kiss on my lips. Her smile came out again, shining bright. She let out a soft yawn before closing her eyes. "It's too early," she mumbled, cuddling up in my chest. I placed a hand on her back and held her near. "Go to sleep. It's Saturday." I played around with the mess of her hair before finally drifting back to sleep.

I felt Hayley's body shift back and fourth as she mumbled little words in her sleep. "Mmm..Josh," she whispered, her eyes still closed. Her brain must have been caught up in a dream. "Ugh...Blair," she mumbled. The sound of Blair's name alarmed me suddenly, realizing I was going out with her still. And I didn't ask to break up with her yet, meaning that right at this very moment I was cheating. Never had finally being with Hayley disgusted me as it did now. I shook Hayley softly, trying to wake her up. I needed her girl advice, and now, before this entire thing crashed and burned. She groaned and squirmed around before finally waking up.
"What?" she asked, irritated.
"I need to break up with Blair."
Her eyes fluttered wide open, shock and surprise illuminating her face. "You didn't break up with her yet?!" She cried. I shook my head in shame. "Josh!" she yelled, her fists slamming into my stomach. "Ouch!" I cried, rubbing it in response. She bit her lip. "Sorry. But Josh, you're basically cheating on her right now. I feel so dirty!"
"I know, I know," I answered, agreeing with the sentiment. "That's exactly what I need to do now." I rolled over to face the bedside table and grabbed my phone. "Okay. Shut up," I told her.

I dialed Blair's number hesitantly, my hands shaking. I felt Hayley's eyes watching me, every movement, which made concentration a bit hard to achieve at the moment. Blair's innocent voice rang on the other line. "Josh?" She asked. "Y...yeah. It's me," I started. Hayley looked nervous, too. "I'm kind of...well, I don't know how to say this." I heard Blair pause. She did not give me any reassurance or response on the other end of the line; all I could hear were her evenly spaced breaths. "I'll just come out and say it then," I continued. "Blair...I'm...well I'm..." I couldn't make the words come out and sound like something reasonable. Hayley took the phone out of my hands. "Blair," she began, as I gaped at her, wide eyed, "Josh wants to break up with you."

I gulped. I heard Blair's voice raise on the other line. Hayley almost smiled, and turned on the speaker just for my own amusement, I guessed. "I guess he found someone else," Hayley continued. Despite the pity I felt for the poor girl, who I did feel guilty for cheating on and forgetting about, mind you, I couldn't help but laugh along.
"Tell him to forget the shoes I was going to get him! And everything else he asked for! Tell him forget it!" Blair yelled. Hayley smirked and rolled her eyes.
"Blair, I know how you feel," Hayley said. "Josh is in bed with me right now, too."
My eyes widened, dilated almost to the point where they felt as if they'd pop out of my sockets. Who would have the guts to add that in? This was inappropriate as is, and Hayley, determined, proud Hayley, had to throw that in. "Blair, I guess there was no real love in your relationship anyways. There's a guy out there for you, okay?"

Blair continued screaming.

Hayley stuck out her tongue and covered her ears. She mouthed Blair's words as Blair yelled out into the phone, it was rather unpleasant, but Hayley's mocking was hilarious. I couldn't help myself, the supressed laughter was already creeping up my throat, and I finally burst.
"Bye Blair!" Hayley called, hanging up.
She began to laugh too, and held me in a hug. "There, Josh! She's gone!" She said against my chest, in between bursts of luaghter.
I kept laughing, feeling extremely alive. Once the laughter had died down, Hayley spoke.
"I guess that's one problem that's over with."
I nodded my head, still holding her. "There's still Jaelyn," I pointed out.
Hayley sighed loudly. "Jaelyn," she repeated. "Hate her!" We said in unison.

We looked at each other in surprise. "Jinx!" Hayley said, grinning. She grunted softly as she got out of bed. I followed her downstairs. "So what's the plans stored for this weekend?" I asked her. She placed a finger on her chin and her eyes stared up at the ceiling. Her eyes finally locked with mine and she shrugged. "I don't know," she answered. "I guess we're going to have to make it up as we go along." Hayley walked over to the kitchen cupboards, pulling out a pancake mix.
"Ooh..pancakes!" I exclaimed, walking over to her side. "I'll help, if I can."
She smiled as she opened up the box and took out a mixing bowl. "Here, follow the directions. I'll heat up the stove," she said, handing me the bowl. I read the directions and began to pour in the mix. "Do I put the milk in first or mix the flour?" I asked. "Mix the flour?" Hayley repeated, sounding surprised. "You don't mix the flour, Josh," she said, pouring in the milk, "You mix the milk in and add eggs and stuff. Like it says on the box."
I nodded, leaning in to give her a quick peck on the cheek. She looked up at me, her face glazed over with surprise, but there was no sign that she was angry at me for it. She leaned up and stood on her toes to kiss me back on the lips. I leaned forward, so she didn't have to use her toes just to reach my height. Curving a hand around the small of her back, we walked, no loss of contact, against one of the walls. Hayley pressed her back against it and I pressed myself against her, her lips moving along with mine.

The door swung open and a man entered.

Hayley's head turned to the side and she froze in place as she stared at the figure that had entered through the door. "Dad?" she asked, the word choked up.
Her father stared back at us in disgust, walking three steps forward. "Who is this?" He scoffed, unimpressed, finger pointed towards me. I instinctively pulled away from her and stayed quiet.
"This is...m...my boyfriend. Josh."
I held out a hand, but he refused to take the attempt at civility. He just nodded and glared at me. And in that moment it felt as if the air in the room had gone out a window, the oxygen leaving both Hayley and I to suffocate.

Her mother appeared.

"What are you doing here?" She asked as she caught sight of Hayley' dad, illustrating the theme of unwelcome with every word and action. "Well this is still my house. Who said I couldn't check in on you all? I still have the damn key," her dad shot back.
Hayley's mother scoffed, shaking her head in disapproval. I could feel Hayley cringe beside me, struck with fear.
"You aren't welcome anymore, so please go," her mother said, to the point where her voice was building up to a scream. She placed her hands on his chest and began pushing him backward. "I just wanted to check in on Hayley!" He screamed at her, situated in his spot. "And now I see she's with this boy?!" His hands darted toward me.
"Go..now!" Her mother finally yelled, shaking the house's foundations. Hayley began to cry, burying her face into my chest and holding on to me like her life depended on it. I placed a hand around her, but her father screamed out at me. "Get your hands off of my daughter!"
"Sir," I began, trying my best to create the facade of calmness.
"No, Josh," Mrs. Williams replied in a gentle manner, looking at me.
Her eyes flew back toward Hayley's dad, who stood there with obvious rage, he looked as if he was just about ready to explode. "Get out of my house and don't cause trouble with my daughter!"
Her father swore at us both in a loud voice, one that caused Hayley to tremble against my chest, shaking.
He rushed toward the door, threw the keys at Hayley's mother, and slammed it shut, the ring of the door echoeing throughout the entire household.

And all was silent.
It was a bit hard to settle back into peace after witnessing the events that just transpired. The silence seemed strange, unwanted. But I wasn't going to complain.

Hayley sniffed, still pressed against me, and wiped her eyes.
Her mother whispered something to herself that I couldn't make out.
"Josh, it's okay. Take care of Hayley," Mrs. Williams told me. All I could do was nod, but I'm sure my placid facade failed to conceal the tumult of my mind.
Ms. Williams headed upstairs in silence.

Hayley finally spoke, her words sounding laboured, her voice barely loud enough to be considered a whisper. "Josh I'm so sorry." Right then she buried her face in her hands, wet tears staining her porclein skin. I took her hands, enclosed them around mine, and almost cried myself. "It's fine. Hayley. Shh."

---

"That's nice," Hayley said, gesturing toward the papers. We were in my living room with Zac, trying to write something, inspiration just ready to be grabbed any second. "But it needs a nicer riff," she added. I wrote some notes down, taking her advice, and Hayley studied them. "Okay, that's better," she said, nodding.
Zac began playing his rhythm on the set, sounding awesome, as always.
"Okay, let's take it from the top," Hayley announced, picking up the paper. "One, two, three, four!"
I began to strum as Zac played along, and soon enough Hayley chimed in with the lyrics her ingenious brain had come up with. "I've hoped for change, and it gets better everyday. I've hoped for change, but still I feel the same. There's something wrong, 'cause everybody knows that we can do this on our own! And we got everybody singing: WOAH! WOAH! WOAH! WOAH!"
By the end of the song, Zac and I had smiles on our faces, completely distraught by the amazing voice of the redhead lead singer in front of us, but Hayley did not look satisfied. "We need something else," she said, scratching the back of her head. "We need a bass player."

By the end of the day, Hayley and I had already hung up what seemed like a hundred posters for the auditions we would hold all throughout the week. After the final poster, I exhaled in exhaustion, placing my back against the tree we posted it up on.
"Oh come on. We're done putting the posters up!" Hayley exclaimed, her hands on my shoulders. She then, to my surprise, pushed me aside and began to climb up the tree.
Hayley swung her legs over a branch and sat upon the bough of the large tree, the thickness of it sufficient to hold her weight.
"Going to join me?" Hayley asked persuasively, eyebrows raised. I gave in and began to climb, sitting there with her. The view from above wasn't bad at all, the fields and tennis courts of the Tennessee park could be viewed from up here. "Aren't you scared to fall?" I asked her, looking down, the distress creeping in. "It depends. Will you catch me?" Hayley asked, applying the question to herself.
"Of course," I replied.
"Then no, I'm not afraid," Hayley answered decidedly.
We paused for quite a while, just taking in the entire scene and letting the breeze caress our skin. It was silent until I leaned in, kissing her softly, and she responded. I pulled away as I realized I was nearly losing my balance. Hayley laughed against my lips and shook her head. "C'mon, let's get down from here."

The following day would be the first day of auditions. Time to meet the lucky 32 who had signed up to audition for us at my house. It's going to be a long day.
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Yep, new character coming in next. Since the auditions are going to be for bass players, we all know who will show up. :) I need to be more clever with these ideas haha. Well, as always, I'd love to hear thoughts and reactions. You guys are seriously the best readers ever. I'll be sure to leave in messages and replies in the comments for you guys...so please check the comments to see if I left a reply for you!

My Heart CH.23 (Part 1)

My Heart: A Joshayley Story

CHAPTER 23 (Part 1)

just wanted to thank createthejoy from Buzznet for the banner that you see above! also, "Friend" by Kaitlyn and "Hear You Me" by Jimmy Eat World are the theme songs for this cutesty, extra long chapter. :D

HAYLEY'S POV:
I turned away from my open window and let the sunlight's heat touch the bare skin of my back. Though I wanted to believe this was nothing but a dream, nothing but a sweet dream that I knew was too good to be true, the boy laying sound asleep next to me proved that all this--all this--was real.
I studied his beautiful features closely, my eyes fixing intently on those lips of his. I stroked my hands through his dark brown hair, desperate to feel them again. His eyelids flew open at the moment of contact, revealing his amazing brown eyes.
"Morning," he whispered, the corners of his mouth curving upward into a beautiful smile. I had to return that smile, yes, had to, because if this was the beginning of us being back together I would not run away from it. He made me feel things I couldn't explain, and this was love, it truly was, and there was no way to deny it.
I recieved him as expected, with a complete genuine smile that I hoped would was sufficient to show him the complete enthusiasm inside of me.
"Good morning," I replied, completely giddy and weak in his hands. He pulled me in closer, chest against mine, curling around me perfectly. I giggled.
"I'm sorry. For everything, love," he whispered in a sultry, yet apologetic tone, snapping into all seriousness.
I closed my eyes and sighed, my head buried into the crook of his neck. "I guess I'm going to have to forgive your mom. Not you. I should be sorry. It wasn't your fault."
I looked up at him and took in his brown, sympathetic eyes, there was still some coldness in them and obvious skepticism showed through his features. I kissed him then, lips against his for a long while. I was in a daze when we pulled away.
"I'll be back after brushing my teeth," I said as I broke free, getting out of bed, completely exposed in front of him. For some reason that did not bother me, he and I already shared our night, exposed, and it was completely comfortable now. Absurd, yet completely reasonable, I must admit. I pulled a robe on and entered the bathroom.

Once inside, I had time to myself. I looked into the mirror, my hair a tangled mess, completely washed with dizziness, but no, I was not guilty for last night's events. I didn't regret anything...everything he did was right. I thought back to the events and smiled even wider at my reflection. I quickly brushed my teeth and rinsed. When I got back into the bedroom, he wasn't there anymore. "Josh?" I called, worried he had left. "Down here!" he replied. His voice had me all smiles once more.
I ran downstairs, and found him digging through my refrigerator. "I have cereal," I suggested, joining him. He placed a quick peck on my cheek and grabbed my waist with both his hands, twirling me around the kitchen. "Josh! Put me down!" I yelled. When he finally had, I pouted. "You just don't know how happy I feel right now," he exclaimed, taking a deep and refreshed breath. I chuckled. "I know, me too." I heard the lock turn and the door swing open. My mom entered through the door with a yawn, and her eyes fell on Josh and I, me in a robe, Josh in nothing but his tee-shirt and pajamas. "Do I want to know what happened?" she asked, confused, yet she was so tired that I doubted she could even see straight. Josh and I looked at each other and smiled. "I'll tell you everything later," I promised. My mom let out another yawn. "I'm so tired. Hayles would you mind making your own breakfast?" I shook my head. "Mom, you go rest," I requested. "I can take care of myself."

Though the eggs didn't turn very sunny side up, and the toast was a little burnt, I didn't want to be any other place in the world except with Josh and in that kitchen. Josh's stomach growled. "Breakfast is ready, Josh, don't worry," I called. He sat on the kitchen table and joined him, placing everything down in a plate. "Mmm...honey, it looks delicious," he said, mimicking the voice of a married man, acting as if we were already a couple bound together forever by matrimony. I simply giggled.
He quickly bit into something. "Not bad," he said, smiling up at me. I took a piece of toast and sat on his lap. "Hey, I'm eating!" he said. I giggled happily and wrapped one arm around his neck. "Yeah, well your going to have to deal with me for now." I watched him swallow his food and then leaned in to kiss him. He didn't stop me, and before long the kiss became a make out session in the morning. I pulled away and smiled as he leaned in for a few seconds and realized I wasn't kissing back anymore. He opened his eyes. "What happened? Why'd you stop?" He asked. I laughed. "We need to get to school now," I said.
"I have no other clothes," Josh said.
"True. But if you rush to your house and change, maybe we can make it," I suggested.
"What if we just not go to school? Skip it, to be together for one day?" He smiled up at me and gave me that puppy dog expression. It was, inevitably, my weakness. I tried my best not to let a grin sweep my face, but that expression was just too much.
"Ugh!" I cried, frowning. "Once again, I hate when you do that!" Josh smiled to himself, taking pride in his victory. "I'm going to take that as a yes," he said. "Now go get changed, because we're going to be out all day," Josh added.
"I could say the same for you," I replied, eyeing him up and down. "Yeah," he agreed, looking at himself. "I'll be back, Miss Hayley Williams." And with that he bowed gallantly and strode out of my door.

A loud--and, might I add, obnoxious--knock startled me as I lay flat on the couch with plain clothing on. It felt like ages since he had left, hours had passed with no reply. I jumped to my feet. "I'm taking you hiking," Josh said as I opened the door. "Hiking?" I asked, not very willing to go. "It's not that far. And it's really amazing what's going on up there." I bit my lip. "Oh come on!" Josh pleaded, his puppy dog face forming. "Stop!" I yelled abruptly. "I don't want to be overpowered by the look," I finger quoted 'the look' and then rolled my eyes. "Let's go," I said, groaning.

After forty five exhausting minutes of trying to hike up a nearby hill, I was pretty much sweating to the max. It felt as if it was one of the longest walks I'd ever had to endure in my lifetime. Josh grabbed my hand and helped me up a slope, my feet finally reaching the top of the hill. I hunched my back and grabbed my knees, panting.
"Oh come on, it wasn't that bad." I heard Josh say, walking toward something.
As I started to place myself upright, Josh rushed to my side and covered my eyes.
"What the hell? Josh!" I screamed, grabbing for his hands that were now flat against my eyes, struggling to pry them off. "Trust me on this one. I'm didn't exhaust you for no reason. I'll lead you. Come on."
I felt my feet move against the grass, and finally settle on a softer, flatter, less bumpy surface. "What is this?" I asked, not able to wait any longer. Josh removed his hands. I found myself looking over a gorgeous view of Franklin, the entire town in front of my very eyes, and standing on a white and red classic picnic blanket.
"Surprise!" He yelled. I was speechless. Words couldn't describe how great Tennessee looked at this high point.
"You've surprised me too much, sir," I exclaimed, taking a breath and losing myself in the complete beauty of the entire scene. Josh laughed, standing beside me and gripping my hand. "I got my mom to make us cheesecake and a lunch. Sorry it took me so long to get back. I set this up for us...that's the best excuse I can give." He shrugged like there was nothing to this.
I shot him a appreciative look, then leaning my head against his shoulder. "I love it," I whispered, then wrapping a hand around his waist.
"I thought you would." Josh smiled.

I took another bite of the cheesecake his mother had made. I licked my lips again.
"This is so good," I exclaimed, chewing.
Josh smiled, taking a huge piece with his fork. "I know." He popped a piece into his mouth. "Mmm."
I stroked the cheesecake with my index finger and hastily rubbed it over the end of Josh's nose. "Hey!" He yelled, no sign of irritation, but instead amusement.
I got up, preparing to run. He chased me around and pounced on me, both of us falling to the soft grass in a heap of laughter.
"Oh Hayley," he began, placing a chaste kiss on my lips as he lay on top of me. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the kiss before he pulled away. I let my hand slip to the back of his neck as I pulled him into me for another kiss. When he finally broke away, he smiled at me.
"Did I tell you that I was the one you kissed during Amanda's spin the bottle game?"
I pushed him off me, and propped myself on my elbow, staring at him. "I kind of figured," I replied. "No one else can kiss as well as you do. No one else can make me feel as you do."

Josh stroked my cheek. "I love you," he whispered.
Though I was positive of this truth, and I had acknowledged it to be true and real before and said it to myself countless times, it was very different when I heard him say it to me directly. This was the first time, and with those words came an air of shock and happiness. This was such a perfect moment that I couldn't help but burn with complete contentment inside of me, smiling ridiculously wide and leaning in to be right in front of his face. Staring into his eyes, I replied, "I love you too." He flashed a bright smile and kissed me again, his mouth warm against mine. I really did love him, there was no way to deny that fact, no way to avoid it because it would chase me until I admitted it. I was so glad that this was the place he and I confessed our feelings to each other. Perfection. Pure perfection.

Josh and I rocked to "Hear You Me" by Jimmy Eat World atop that hill as we danced, the soft music and light wind swaying us in a synchronized rythym. It was becoming darker. We danced as the sun set, setting it's own natural spotlight for us. My head was rested on his strong shoulder, and my body against his. It was absolutely perfect. He often brushed my hair with his fingers or placed one hand on the back of my head as he sighed to himself happily. Once the song ended, I nearly cried.

"Hayley?" he asked, hearing my obvious sniff, reacting to the sound of it immediately. "What's wrong?"
I brushed a single tear away and smiled. "Nothing, I'm just happy," I announced. He cupped his hands around my face and kissed me softly. "I love you," he whispered to me, after breaking away. "I love you, Hayley," he repeated. "Ah! God, I love saying that. I love you! I love you Hayley Williams!!" he yelled, pulling me to him and grabbing my hands, dancing around. I laughed as he dragged me along in a happy dance.
"Okay! Okay!" I said, stopping him. "Do that again and all of Franklin will know we are dating," I said.
"Wait, just because the day is done, doesn't mean I'm done yet," Josh said, running toward his guitar case.

He unzipped it and pulled out an acoustic guitar. "I wrote you this," he said, pulling out a piece of paper. He handed it to me. My Heart was written across the top, and little drawings of hearts around it.
He began to strum the guitar softly as I listened. "I am finding out, that maybe I was wrong..." he began, continuing. His voice was soft against the chords of the acoustic guitar. By the chorus, I had joined in, sitting by his side. Josh stopped suddenly, still strumming, as I continued to sing with my whole heart.

By the last line, I was breathless. I looked down and back up at him, giggling. "Amazing," I said, hugging him. "Joshie--this is ah-mazing!!"
Josh wrapped one arm around me as I climbed into his lap. "I don't even need to go home. Tonight, we're camping out," I murmured, digging my head into his chest.
"It's going to be cold, Hayles. Instead, why can't I just sleep over at your house?" Josh suggested, holding me tight.
"Fair enough," I replied.

After packing and returning everything back to Josh's house, we drove down the street and Josh parked in front of the community pool.
"What are we doing here?" I asked, confused.
"Come on, Hayles. The pool is at it's warmest tonight. I know that for a fact, because I've been breaking in tons of times," he replied, smiling at the thought. He was probably reminiscing on the times where he did break in.
I smiled, waving a hand in front of his face. "Come on, why now? I'm not in a bathing suit," I protested.
"It's not like you can't strip down to just your bra and undies," Josh replied, smiling wide.
I hit his face softly, laughing. "You're such a pervert!"
He laughed and took my hands. "Please?" He begged. "Just for tonight. Please, Hayles?" he repeated. I finally nodded, barely thinking. As long as I was with Josh, I'm sure everything would be fine. "Okay. Okay. But I'm not as tall as that humongous fence. How the hell can I jump over?"
"Don't worry," Josh said, pointing towards the side of the fence. "There's a ladder for employees on the far side. Stupid how they would put one out, but it just makes it easier for gangsters like us," he joked.

We both walked out of the car and climbed the ladder. Josh pulled off his clothes and smiled at me as I struggled to pull off mine. He cannon-balled into the pool and I squealed as I jumped in. Josh and I laughed as we surfaced, and he swam to my side, holding me up in the water and kissing my wet lips. That detail--the detail that my lips were wet--just made his kiss even better. We floated there, kissing passionately, desire mixed in with love and sweetness. He ran his lips along mine and imitated my mouth as I opened it. Josh's hands were placed on the back of my head, pulling me close. His other hand almost fell to my butt, but just barely. I wrapped myself against him as I moaned and made these little noises that delighted him, pacing the kiss.
We gasped together as someone yelled out at us. "Kids, get out of there! This is a public area, you know!"
I snapped back into reality and out of Hayley and Josh world as that yell startled my senses.

Nonetheless, we reacted immediately, laughing as we swam toward the edge of the pool, pulling ourselves up. Josh grabbed his clothes hastily and I pulled mine on quickly, despite me being soaked wet. Josh only pulled on his pants and we both rushed back toward his truck. The entire way driving back, Josh and I were laughing blissfully.

After refreshing myself, Josh appeared at my door yet again, in his pajamas. He held out his hand and bent his wrist, fluttering his eyes, imitating a girl. "Oh my gosh, we're going to have, like, so, so, so much fun!" he squealed, still trying to imitate a girl's voice.
I laughed and shook my head. "That's so not how girls sound!"
He laughed and wrapped one hand around my waist. "Come on," he said, yawning, "I'm sleepy now. It's been a long day."

We both walked upstairs. Mom approached us halfway there. "I'm off to night shift again, Hayles. I trust you two, okay?" she said surely, but still a hint of concern in her voice. "I don't want to find out you've become pregnant by tomorrow...or by any day, for that matter."
I smiled at my anxious mother. "Don't worry. I promise I won't get pregnant," I said.
"No promises from me, Miss Williams," Josh said, in a voice so insanely serious that my mom and I eyed him up and down with wide eyes.
"Just kidding!" He burst out, laughing after the momentary silence. "We won't do anything that I think I'll regret."
Mom smiled up at both of us and nodded, shaking her head as if it was a way to shake her worries away. "Okay. Don't worry, I'll lock the door. You two go to bed."

Josh and I climbed into bed. He sat up and pouted.
"What is it now?" I asked, yawning.
"You said you wouldn't do anything wrong with me. I hope that doesn't mean I can't kiss you."

I rolled my eyes and crawled over to where he was, leaning in and placing a quick peck on his lips. He looked adorable pouting. I began to lay, but he pulled me over to where he was again, kissing me even more deeply. I couldn't protest and pull away, because I enjoyed his kisses. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he sat up. Lightly moaning, I stroked his hair, not letting go of his lips. He licked my upper lips and placed his tongue in my mouth.

Once again, he made me feel like he did the night before. Josh and I actually did "it" that night. I'm surprised I wasn't even pregnant yet. But I continued kissing back until I was atop him, straddling him and parting my lips. He began to sit up again, and my head flung back as he planted hungry kisses against my neck. It was hard enough to leave a mark, but I didn't care one bit. Once again our lips met. This was getting a little heavy.

I pulled away, and he smiled before trying to kiss me again. I didn't let him this time. "Please tell me we won't be having babies tonight," I asked, panting heavily. "No, I promise," he replied, leaning in even more to kiss me.
"Mm...okay..." I mumbled, pulling away.
"Hayles!" Josh called, laughing a bit. "Can I kiss you now?"

I grinned and crashed my lips against his urgently. His hands ran along the sides of my waist and up my back, sending down the usual shivers and burning desires. I broke for air and straddled him, towering atop him. I opened my mouth and let him kiss back, our bodies moving, as if dancing, and kissing all at the same time. He wrapped his hands over me as we both rolled to our side and Josh had almost gotten atop me. I laughed as he tried and pushed him off.
"Why stop?" he asked, wrapping a hand around me.
"I swear we'll be doing something we'll regret at this rate!" I replied, almost giggling.
"Hayles, just a little longer?" He tried flashing that puppy dog face, but before he could, I covered my eyes.
"No! I won't be overtaken by your gorgeous puppy dog face!" Josh laughed and settled beside me. "Okay, for now," he agreed.

He turned and pulled me into a hug. After placing a soft kiss on my head, Josh sighed. "I love you. So much," he whispered.
"Boyfriend and girlfriend don't go this far," I replied.
"Maybe we should be more than that?" Josh asked, stroking the back of my head.
"Well, we aren't really having a kid right now," I began, "so let's finish school before I marry you."
"You're going to marry me?" Josh asked, startled. I looked up at him and smiled. "I want to," I replied. "We just said we loved each other today and now you're telling me you want to marry me?" Josh asked.
I felt my eyebrows knit together. "Why? You don't want to marry me?"
"No! Of course not. I want to marry you, even now I would. If only we were older. We still have tons planned for our lives, Hayles. But don't worry, one day I swear I'm going to marry you," Josh said with a wide smile.
I returned his smile and hugged him tight. "I love you too," I finally said, closing my eyes.
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How'd you take it? Of COURSE it was Josh! Who else would make Hayley "burn"? :) Sorry for the bed part haha. But hey, Josh and Hayley LOVE each other now! The drama isn't done though, something is going through my head and it's going to be pretty shocking. The happiness will keep going for a few chapters though! Anyway, POST COMMENTS. I love hearing them!This is only part 1 of chapter 23 if you didn't know! Chapter 23 was too long to post up so I decided to post it in two parts. Part 2 up soon!

SHOUT OUT: (because I'm so bored I decided to post one up. Haha!)

YOUTUBE love.
Thanks to all those who have been reading and commenting. All those who comment on my channel and videos, even those who haven't checked in for a while, thanks so much. I can't list all your usernames right now because there are so many of you. But I appreciate each and every one of you, and i read each and every comment, no kidding. :)

BuzzNet love.
snoozy4 and riotlainie...You guys were the first to comment and read My Heart on buzznet! Thanks for that! snoozy4, you give awesome ideas and the comments you leave are really supportive and bring a bright lightbulb up into my head with ideas. :)

BLOGGER love.
Yeah, this is where it all began, and all you bloggers reading right now have totally lifted my spirits! Everytime I check in to see your comments I totally smile at each and every supportive comment and idea. I occasionally leave my own comment on my posts, so check in the comments to see if I left a message for you! :)

My Heart CH.22

My Heart: A Joshayley Story
CHAPTER 22

HAYLEY'S POV:
I paused as I felt that tap on my shoulder. Hopeful that it was Josh, I turned around with a smile. Unfortunately, tonight was not my lucky night. Well, most nights had the sadness of being unlucky, for that event with yelling at Josh at my doorstep (which felt like it had happened ages ago), had caused a chain reaction of unfortunateness.

The person I had the pleasure (well, not really the pleasure) of aquainting was a short boy with braces and big glasses taped together with duct tape. The sight was slightly amusing. He grinned up at me widely. "Would you like to dance with me?" he asked in a breathy voice, muffled by his braces and the stereos in the room. I smiled out of total politeness and blushed. "I was actually on my way out," I replied apologetically. He walked away as I turned toward the door, closing my eyes. "I knew tonight was a bad night," I whispered to myself. As I began to descend toward the door, a soft voice startled me. "Hayley," it announced. My heart skipped a beat...that voice. I turned around.

Josh stood tall, wearing a pink polo and nice pants. The cologne he wore was foreign to me, it seemed fancy and I'd never smelled it before, but it was wonderful and definitely suited his personality well. Fresh and sultry.
We stood in the midst of the people on the dark dance floor, though my senses were completely filled with him and only him and it was hard to believe that people surrounded us. They seemed to disappear as we stared into each other's eyes. The slow song was still playing.
"Dance with me," he offered, holding out a hand, like a gentleman. I carefully took it, and he led me to the middle of the dance floor. I locked my hands behind his neck and he placed his hands on my waist, loosely and casually. We swayed slowly, and just as we got situated, the song had ended and the deejay changed it to some fast rap song. "Crap," I whispered to myself, in hopes that wasn't loud enough for him to hear. Josh let go of me as I unlocked my hands from his neck. "See you," he said, disappearing into a cloud of people. That dance was short lived. Luke found me and approached from behind. "Hayley, we're off to Amanda's house for a party she's hosting after the dance. Want to help us set up?" His voice was muffled by the loud music, but I only nodded. If this was my escape from the torture I'd get from this place (well, mostly the torture of having Josh in the same room as me and not dancing with me and only me), than I'd simply oblige.

We arrived at Amanda's house. It was very big and situated in the corner of town where people were much more richer than normal. "It was supposed to be held tomorrow," Amanda said of the party in her posh accent, "but I decided to do it tonight. I've already invited everyone and the deejay will announce it once the dance is done. I've got some wild things planned tonight." I gulped. Amanda laughed at me and my most likely horrified expression. "Hayley, it won't be that wild. Now come help me with the balloons."

As people began to arrive, I started to get worried. What if Josh came? I'd be stuck in an even smaller environment, a single house, with him...and a million other girls most probably drooling over him and using all the flirtiness that was supressed inside of them. Why was I avoiding him? I ran through all the stupid things I've done lately, and a wave of realization came through me. There was no reason to be avoiding Josh at all. I almost laughed at it as I pondered.
Tonight, I'd talk to him.
More people greeted each other as they entered through Amanda's stain glass door, in a buzz and moving too fast that I feared there would not be enough room for everyone.
I watched from afar, well, Amanda's couch to be exact, and waited until Josh would enter through that door.
The music through the stereo boomed. Amanda stood in front of me and held out her hand, her expression excited. "Don't just sit and slump here, Hayley! Go mingle, talk to people. I can introduce you if you want." I shook my head and smiled. "I'm kind of waiting for someone," I replied. Amanda nodded and walked away. I turned my head towards the door again, watching it. As expected, it flew open and Josh, his body looking tall and his face still as gorgeous as I'd remembered it, entered. What wasn't expected was who appeared from behind, Blair Marshall. She looked pretty stunning with her short, silvery white dress and curled hair. She seemed...perfect, beside him, as if she totally belonged there because she was far more beautiful than I was.
His eyes locked with mine for a mere half second, until he had meekly turned away and was suddenly crowded with a sea of people, greeting him.
I stood up despite the crowd and tried approaching him...but my attempts were useless. There were too many people.

"Okay everyone!" Amanda called out, with a fancy glass cup in one hand, "Come to the living room for a classic party game: spin the bottle!" An explosion of frantic and excited mutters from the crowd came about as everyone walked to the living room and sat in one giant circle, some people draped on the couches, fearing the game and just watching intently. I frantically moved toward the kitchen but Luke pulled my hand and insisted I join. I sat next to him.

"Okay, it's only five minutes in the closet per person," Amanda said, standing in the middle of the circle. The scene was slightly reminiscent of that campfire I had along with Jaelyn. What embarrassment would be brought to me here?
She pulled out an empty soda bottle and placed it in the center. "Okay, let's begin!" I watched the bottle spin around wildly. People's eyes widened as it slowed, and finally pointed to the lucky winner. And it was perfect, just perfect. Me. I'm being sarcastic about the perfection of the event, mind you.
"Hayley!" Amanda exclaimed. "Okay, you know the rules. In the closet you go!" Amanda pulled out a red bandanna. "Here's your blindfold." She wrapped it around my eyes, and I was led into the closet. As she closed the door, my heart threatened to pump out of my chest. I curled into a fetus position, my back against the closet wall, as I tried to breathe. Muffled voices ran through the room and a sudden stream of light had entered the closet. Someone entered, and it was closed once more.
I turned my head instinctively towards the direction I presumed the person came from and only frowned. "Okay, you enjoy yourselves. We'll be timing." I heard Amanda say. She closed the door as my unknown man entered the closet with me. I gulped, it was the only reaction I thought right.
The person in the closet with me seemed...hesitant. His breathing matched mine, we were both nervous, it was clear, and I was glad we were on common ground. Something familiar encircled the closet...I couldn't put my tongue on it. Cologne...fresh, wonderful smelling...but the events prior to this were blurred because all my concentration was focused on this moment.

And suddenly, I was feeling his hot breath against my lips. He was closer now...and for some reason, I wanted him to close the gap between us. And finally, his lips touched mine.
The kiss was strange, with both a familarity and unfamiliarity to it at the same time. But I had never felt such a connection in such a long time. I felt my hands feel for his hair, trying to see if I remembered his features. His tongue had darted in my mouth and I felt my heart beat faster. His hands felt for my back, and we both leaned in closer to each other. I felt myself lean even more against him, and my chest touched his. We both broke for air and panted heavily. That kiss was amazing. Suddenly light broke into the dark closet as Amanda opened the door. I heard voices and rude whistles as they looked at us, locked in the position. I could feel their eyes.
The boy pulled away and he was gone in a flash, his lips unlocking from mine so hastily that I almost groaned at the loss of contact. Amanda untied the blindfold. I walked away and out the door. I had no reason to stay anymore.

That party was the buzz of the school Friday morning. But the even bigger buzz was that spin the bottle game. I heard my name and Blair's name come up in many conversations. "Can you believe who she kissed?" A girl asked during science. "Blair must be pissed," another voice said. At lunch, everyone who sat around me had some...tension, like they knew something I didn't, which I was very sure of. Nobody talked to me. I looked toward Blair and Josh's usual spot.
Wait, Josh wasn't there.
Blair, her hair still perfect and her facial features accentuated with the make up she wore, sat with some preppy girls. I looked around at other tables. Josh wasn't anywhere in the cafeteria. But where was he?

"Hello?" I called, knocking on the Farro's door after school. Zac opened it up for me. "Josh isn't home. He said he had to take care of some business," he said. "Mmm...er, okay. Can you tell him I was over? I...I really need to talk to him," I said. Zac nodded and munched on a chip before closing the door.

Around eleven PM, I dragged myself up into my dark room, disappointed I did not have one opportunity at all today to get things straight with Josh. Mom was working a night shift, and of course, dad was gone. I tried turning the lights on--my room was impossibly dark--but something brushed against me and locked the door from behind. I gasped, but a pair of lips hit mine hard. It was too dark to see anything...but this kiss had that same amazingness that came with that one at Amanda's party...and I wanted it to continue.
My eyes closed as I willingly kissed back, trusting the lips that were around mine. This person's hands moved to the small of my back, pulling me closer in. There was a sudden fire everywhere, my body feeling exhilarated and excited. He was everywhere, whoever he was.
The hard wall of my bedroom had suddenly slammed against my back, but there was no pain. I couldn't feel anything else besides a beautiful burning, a longing, the desire. I pulled him in, my hands knotting in his hair, my legs wrapping around his waist, the wall giving me the leverage I needed. And he held me up as his hands wrapped around my thighs.
His lips tasted every inch of my lips, his tongue twisting with mine. We gasped and broke for air, but his lips slammed into mine again. It was so passionate, so needed, and I pulled him in to me even closer, if that was even possible. I felt my feet on the floor again, and my hands began to pull his soft shirt off. Sudden guilt hit me as the warm skin of his body reached my fingertips. I was still fully clothed, until my tank top was yanked off quickly. This desire was way too overpowering, and my hormones had began to take over. My mind raced back to the thought that I still did not know who this guy was.
We made our way to my bed in a tangle of arms and fast paced kisses.

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Hmm...who could he be? Find out in chapter 23! Oh, and thank you so much for the supportive comments I get from you readers. Obsessed, huh? Haha, those types of comments made me crack up. :) Toward the end of this chapter it was getting a little steamy and I was a bit nervous on how to handle it. Is it too much? I'm really scared (well, nervous would be a better word) to hear thoughts! Sorry if I totally burned your eyes out with it. *crosses fingers nervously*