My Heart CH.14

My Heart: A Joshayley Story
CHAPTER 14--A MUST READ!!

JOSH'S POV:
I woke up to my alarm clock and didn't bother hitting snooze. It was Wednesday morning, and mom was home, probably cooking up something downstairs. Zac was in bed, continually hitting the snooze button, and I was, surprisingly, happy to get to school. Usually, it was the time of day I wish I could sleep, but now that this amazing girl has come into my life, I decided maybe sleeping through it would waste the time I had with her. And so I take some time to think about what I should wear, how I should smell, and maybe a shower wasn't such a bad idea. Thoughts swirled in my head, telling me so many different things at once. There was so little distance between me and her now. And then I thought of it.

HAYLEY'S POV:

Yesterday was truly amazing. Well, it could be even more amazing today...or Saturday, even. I stared at my dull closet while scratching at my head. I felt my face crumple, and my head make little fashion choices for me, outfits scrolling through my mind. Pink would be a little too bright, and yellow might look like I took a piss in my pants. I never thought about clothes this way. I used to like my yellow pants, and plain tops. But now I was thinking even more on how I was supposed to look, and the feelings made me feel ridiculous. This was not how I was before, but something was changing me. When the daydreams began, I couldn't stop them. I fantasized me going down the school hallway, in a extremely revealing outfit, every person staring like it was a good thing, especially Josh. I pushed it away, knowing that would never happen, and I would never wear such a thing. High School was already a battleground itself, and dressing best doesn't get you anywhere. I didn't want to impress anyone...but only one. He was excluded from the rest, the one I cared about most. I pulled out a red and black striped shirt. Maybe black pants with it? Or would it be too much black? Maybe make up would brighten it up. Or should I wear a grey shirt with a purple hat? Is it too fashionable? Too bare? So many questions.

I needed to decide.

I pulled out the grey long sleeved shirt. I put on the purple hat. Not bad, it suited the weather. It was still autumn. I only realized now that it was already early October. Guess I had lost track of time when I was around Josh. I looked at myself in the mirror. This would have to do. Black pants would be fine. And lip gloss. Ugh. So many possibilities, so many ways to look great. I decided not to overdo it, and I put on a clear, soft shine lip gloss and light eyeshadow.

Mom was at work. Dad wasn't here, either. I was alone for once, without noticing it. Without mom, I was hopeless in the kitchen. I peered into the fridge, and found some cheese left out and salmon. I skipped dinner last night, because I was busy with homework upstairs. Mom left a note on the salmon plate.

Hayles--just in case you get hungry. MOM

That was my breakfast I guess, so I heat it up and quickly gulped some of it down. It was exactly 7:30 AM. I rested my cheek in my palm as I stared, bored, into the cracks of paint in the walls, picking at my food. A knock startled me, and I nearly jumped backwards out of my chair.

I unlocked the door, opening it to find Josh standing there with a red face. "I was just wondering if you wanted to walk to school with me," he said shyly. What brought on the shyness? He seemed...meek now...had something changed between us? The red on his face began to fade away slowly. "Sure." I replied, no further comment.

"So were your parents home?" He asked, as we began walking down the street. "No, they're working or something. Not sure," I replied.

"So what do they do?" He asked, a bit too formal, so much so that it didn't sound like Josh.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked him, worried.

"Why? Is there supposed to be something wrong?" He inquired, just as confused as I was.

"No. But why do you talk to me like I'm someone new you've never met? Like we aren't friends?" I asked sternly. I didn't like my tone, but I was afraid.

"Sorry. Jeez," he replied. I bit my lip. "Look, sorry that I'm being clingy," I admitted. I didn't want a fight to brew up right now. I had no luck in that department.

"Let's start over," Josh suggested, pausing. He held his hand out and smiled like a business man trying to sell a house. "Hi, my name is Josh."

I laughed and played along. "Hayley." We shook hands. I didn't want to let go, his hands felt amazing, but I had to. I giggled foolishly again. "Okay, so what do your parents do as their jobs agian?" He asked, with the normal Josh voice I knew and loved.

"My mom is a nurse. She's only part time and there isn't much demand for her, or she just doesn't feel like working. I mean she's usually a stay home mom. I like it better that way. That's why she understands me more than my dad, who's working two jobs. He is a salesman and also works at the office. His work is out of town, so I rarely see him."

"So you've got like, no contact?"

"No," I replied, sounding a little too cheerful despite the question that didn't call for a happy attitude, "I can talk to him sometimes. But it's pretty rare or unusual for him to be home early. I don't know why, but sometimes he doesn't even show up at all." The thought interrupted me for a moment, and more thoughts swirled inside my head, jumping to possibilities.

"Well there's no time to wonder now, because we've got science in five minutes," Josh announced. We walked into the school parking lot together, and others, who were just getting out of their shiny cars, looked at us in wonder. What were they thinking? That Josh and I were dating? Because if they were...that would be far from the truth, no matter how much I wanted it to be true.

"Just ignore them," Josh whispered, noticing. It was uncomfortable, like I entered the first day of school all over again. More eyes staring at me and wondering what I was doing next to him. I imagined what they must have thought in their heads. A normal, average girl next to one of the school's most sought-after guys. I cringed mentally at the thought that I didn't belong anywhere near him.

Jaelyn then approached out of no where, like a lion ready to pounce on it's prey, and I was startled by the sudden appearance. "Hey Hayley!" she said with a perky voice. She narrowed her eyes at the boy next to me, acknowledging him with a nod. "Josh." The way she said his name was absolutely full of spite, or jealously, I wasn't quite sure. "So what are you guys up to?" Madison and Alexa then joined and Jaelyn, taking their places on either side of her. "Uh...we're just trying to get to class," I replied honestly, a crack in my voice that was triggered by the anxiety I felt when Jaelyn was around. Josh stayed silent, but stood closer to me. "Oh my God, did you hear about how the school is cancelling some of the electives for us next semester?" Jaelyn asked, though she seemed uninterested and was just trying to make conversation. "Um...no," I mumbled, though it sounded more like a question than a montone response. "Anyways, Hayley, do you think you're still going to come to my party? This Saturday?" She stared at me with hopeful eyes, expecting a yes.

I needed to think straight in order to answer her question. "You know, actually," Josh began for me, "Hayley and I are going somewhere. I think we'll both be unable to make it."

Jaelyn immediately frowned, it was obvious she was trying to mask her disapproval.

"Come on Hayley," Josh instructed, hastily dragging me away, his hand hard and cold against my wrist. Right then the bell rang. I could feel Jaelyn's hot, uncomfortable stare follow me, burning a hole through my back.

I took my seat, and then Ms. Wells entered, grabbing a piece of paper from her desk. "I've got good news for some of you," she announced, clasping her hands together.

"Are we switching seats?" An obnoxious voice called out from the back row.

Ms. Wells respectfully smiled, though the tension in her face gave away the irritation she felt, and then nodded. "Yes, we are. You know, I thought maybe switching every two months or so would be good for all of us. You all need to get to work with new people and stop hating on each other."

Her attempt at using the modern language of teenagers did not pull through.

Some people giggled to themselves, quietly whispering to each other. Ms. Wells then asked everyone to stand up and stand in the back. I couldn't help but overhear more whispers, some meaner than others.

"So do you think Hayley Williams and Josh are dating?" One girl asked, disgusted. I felt a wave of spite crash over me, threatening to knock me over.

"They are spending an awful a lot of time with each other," another voice replied. The two stared at Josh and I, standing side by side, as if to prove their point. I heard other whispers. "I really want to sit next to Josh," a girl said giddily, whispering to her friend. "He's the cutest one here."

I lightly shoved Josh, who stood next to me, and smirked. "Hear that?" I giggled.

He let out a quick chuckle and nodded."I knew she was switching our seats," he whispered to me, completely changing the topic. "So I convinced her to let me sit next to you. And the deal's done, we're sitting next to each other."

Sparks of energy moved through my body at the sudden revelation. "You're kidding, right?"

"Nope," he replied proudly. As she called the seats, Josh was right, and we were both sat in the corner of the room, towards the back. Many students, most girls, gazed toward us in the back with jealousy in their eyes, some rolling them, some scoffing. "I'm trying to ignore them." I whispered.

"What?"

"Their eyes. They keep...looking. Nothing's going on between us, don't they get that?"

He shrugged casually. "Well I'm used to it. I don't know why they stare so much," Josh replied. "Maybe it's my devilish good looks."

I smiled, though his attempt at humor didn't do a good job of easing the tension I felt with all these people.

Their gazes made me afraid. All of a sudden, science was going by a lot slower due to my distractions, and I couldn't wait for the bell to ring.

Once it did, I was out of my seat before everyone else.

Of course I was even happier once the end of the school day came. Walking with Josh truly was the best part, it was the simple time that we got to know each other better, although usually the time was wasted talking about the most random subjects.

"I hope my parents aren't home," I told Josh, as we walked up the dirt path and back onto the sidewalk, like usual. "And why is that?" He asked playfully. I rolled my eyes and smiled. "Because I want you to come over."

"Wouldn't your dad kick me out or something?" He asked questionably, as we continued our walk.

"I don't know. It would be really weird though. His eyes will follow us everywhere, and every five minutes that man will be checking on us."

Once we arrived at the front of my house, my heart was beating much too fast to be considered healthy, completely uncertain of who was dwelling in my house. I opened the door slowly and didn't hear a word. Sticking my head inside, I peeked into the house and took a look around. "It's clear," I mumbled to Josh, relieved.

"I feel like a secret agent, Hayley. It's like we're breaking in or something. Are your parents that bad? Or maybe the better question is why won't you let me introduce myself to your dad?"

"Because," I started, trying quickly to think of a good response, "because...I don't know. I'm scared."

"I can handle fathers," he said confidently.

"I know you can," I replied, dropping my backpack on the couch, "but like you said before, we're not dating."

"I...I know," he answered, sitting down next to me. He absorbed everything that was in my house for a minute, scrutinizing every detail. "Really nice place," he commented.

"Well I wouldn't know, I've only been here for a few months."

"Then you should think of it more as a home now. You'll feel better about it that way. It's yours, a place where you can do anything and anything can happen."

I shrugged. "Impressive. That sentence could be good to place on a front door mat."

He laughed. "I should have brought my guitar."

"You know it would be cooler if we hung out at your place. At least you have an extra drumset there," I told him. "Guess you coming over here wasn't such a great idea. Look how completely boring my house is."

"But the neighbors would complain about the noise. And that's pretty bad when they do," Josh retaliated.

"Oh. Well why don't we just write songs with Zac, then?"

"So you're kind of interested in being a band member, right?" Josh said, from out of the blue, "There is obvious enthusiasm in you."

"It would be useful to put this singing to work," I acknowledged.

"And your voice is truly magnifique," he said, in an Italian accent, gesturing his hands to his lips like he was one of those Italian pizza makers who had just created a masterpiece.

"It's not bad," I replied.

"Hayles, modesty doesn't really get you anywhere."'

"Yeah it does," I argued, "And anyways, why does it matter that I join a band?"

"Nothing. Just wondering," he answered. "Anyways...I haven't even checked out your girl room yet." Both his eyebrows raised and he looked at me suggestively.

Once he made that statement, I quickly thought back to how my room looked like. It had clothes on the floor, and wasn't nearly as big as his. "It's cluttered and girly. End of story," I said. "That's not a good enough description," Josh replied, his voice so persuasive that I would have given in right then and there--but I couldn't.
"Well I could tell you about it and you can visualize it."
"Come on, is it that bad?" Josh asked.
"Uh...yeah! It is," I said to him, sounding serious and desperate that I surprised even myself. "And I could keep writing songs for you," I offered. "We could leave right now."

"Not until I see your room. I will stay until your parents come home."

I groaned. "Stop being so annoying!" I replied.
"Hayley come on. I won't make fun of you. What's the worst thing? I find your underwear on your floor?" Josh asked. "It could be worse," he added.

"You're being an ass," I replied.

"I said I'm not leaving until you show me."

"Stop being so stubborn!" I complained, raising my voice.

"Uh...I don't think I'm the stubborn one here." His eyes looked directly into mine and did that whole "boyish look" thing that had my knees absently lock and my heart beat just a bit faster.

It was impossible to ignore those eyes--they were incredibly persistent and had me feeling things I would have never felt when looking into someone else's eyes. "Come on." I said, giving in. I grabbed his hand, pulling him quickly up the stairs. "It's going to be a mess, but it doesn't smell bad at least,"
I clasped my hand around my bedroom's doorknob and took a breath before opening it. "Here it is."

He looked at my room quickly and turned to me with a smirk. "This is bad?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Okay...so maybe I exaggerated a little. I just thought my room was super messy." I looked at the shirts on the floor and the books on the bed. He was right, it wasn't that bad. Just in my eyes.
My eyes then trailed over to find the diary sitting plainly on my bed--and my eyes widened. Shit, shit, shit.
No--that had...everything.
Josh, with his uncanny ability in observing, noticed my immediate nervous reaction. He quickly grabbed it from the bed and raised it up. "Josh, give it back!" I yelled, chasing him around the room.
"So what do we have here?" he said, holding it above his head, reading one entry. "There are tons of freaks in the school...but there's this one guy..." Before he could read anymore, I pounced on him, and we landed on my bed, me on top of him. "Hand it to me," I said lowly, narrowing my eyes. "Or I'll pin you down."

Josh just laughed. "I don't think you can pin me down even if you had the chance."

"Just give it!" I yelled.
"Woah, woah! Okay. Here." He said, defeated. He handed my back the diary, and I grunted as I made an effort to get myself off of him. He pulled me back down, our faces only inches apart. "I know what it said," He said seriously.
I gulped, looking at him as we lay in this position. "I know what you wrote in there."

"You do?" My voice was a meek whisper against his face.

"Yep," he said.

I sighed. "Okay, Josh. You know it. I like you. And now I'm dead!"

"No. No, you're not." He started off with what I knew was a serious expression...but he then burst out laughing like none of this was happening. "Wow! You know, I didn't really read it, I just mentioned it. I was just trying to get you to admit it. I didn't know you really wrote that in there!" He was trying to breathe in between his guffaws, barely able to hold himself together.

"Oh wow! God!" I yelled, heaving myself off of him. "Well now you know."
I stood up, and he rose from his position on the bed. He looked me in the eyes and we stood there in my room. "I like you too," he whispered, grabbing my hand. "Don't be mad. Please?"

I was trying to get my thoughts together, registering the fact that he...he liked me. Too. Then there was that awkward silence. We just looked into each other's eyes, and I couldn't avoid his gaze for a second. It was dead on silent. My hand was in his. We went from joking, to chasing, to yelling and now this. The awkwardness was eating away at me. I slipped my hand out of his and released the grip, walking hastily towards the door.

But I was too slow. He pulled me back with minimal force, spun me around, and kissed me.

It was so real, so true, even if it was our first time. Something like a wildfire struck me and sent my body in a frenzy. I knew this wasn't a dream, that the guy I've been crushing on was kissing me madly now, lips hot against mine. His hands on my face felt like fire, and I was burning. There was no pain, just excitement. His mouth on mine, it was surreal, and everytime we moved I felt a jolt...is this why they say you feel sparks when you kiss?

Without releasing my lips from his, I led us to the bed and I collapsed on top of him, lips still searching for his. I opened my mouth wider and pulled him closer to my body, arms around his neck, his torso...everywhere. I did my best to release all the confined passion inside of me; I'd been waiting for this moment since I had realized my feelings for him. It was too good to be true, but it was true, and most definitely good. Then I heard the door downstairs open, and that broke our kiss immediately. "Hayles?" A deep voice called. I looked up, in shock, and at the clock. It was already 6:00. And dad was home?

I also forgot one little detail as well: Josh was here.

And we were making out.

And my dad was home.

This was not the situation I wanted to be stuck in right now. Josh noticed, too. "Crap!!!" I whisper-yelled. "We are so dead! No...I'm dead."

"What do I do?" He asked, just as fidgety as I was.

"Hide!" I told him, opening the bedroom door. "I'm up here, just doing homework!" I yelled out towards my dad, stalling. "Okay honey!" Dad replied, oblivious.

"Where?" He asked, panicking.

"Uh...uhm..." I said, grabbing the back of my head. I was about to tear my hair out. I let a boy in here without my parents knowing. What would my dad think? He wouldn't let me out of the house! "Under my bed!" I told him.

"Wha..." he protested.

"Just go, Josh!" I whispered loudly. He then crawled under my bed without protest. I knealed down, looking at him laying there. "You okay?" I asked.

"It's tight, but I'm not claustrophobic. I'll sneak out the window when the coast is clear," he said.

"I'm so sorry," I apologized, shaking my head. "I shouldn't have invited you."

"No, don't say that," he began. "If you didn't invite me, this would have never happened. I would have never felt how it was to kiss you."

I smiled, but my heartbeats and the situation drowned out the happiness. "I'll see you in a bit. Sorry, Joshie."

"Awesome. I have a nickname now," he replied. I smiled and kissed his lips quickly before getting back up from my kneeling position.

I laughed softly, still completely spinning and high from the happiness. "Yeah. Okay. I gotta go...clear the coast," I told him, and he smiled that amazingly beautiful, wide smile of his that just made me want to stay with him more. I felt so bad leaving him down there. I ran downstairs before Josh could suffer any further.

"Hey daddy," I said, kissing him on the cheek. I needed to be innocent, the girl he knew. "Don't worry Hayley, I just stopped by here for a quick dinner. Tell your mom hello for me, I won't be home when she comes back from work." "Will do, dad," I replied sweetly. He took out something from the fridge and grabbed a brown paper bag from one of the cabinets. He tied it, and I watched his every move, heartbeats still loud and fast against my chest. "Is there some reason you seem so skittish right now?" He asked me, suspicious. My eyes widened. "No! It's just I was really...like, bored when I was alone. So it's just pretty cool I have company right now. But you can go if you want. I know how busy you are."

"I can stay and--" he started. I interrupted.

"No!" I yelled, sounding super anxious. "I...I mean I'm fine here." I said, attempting to compose myself.

"Okay Hayles..." he said slowly, still inquisitive. "I'm leaving now." Dad opened the door and walked away. I watched through the window, watching him leave in his car. Once he was off, I rushed upstairs to Josh. He was already out from under the bed and looking through my bedroom window. "What the hell are you doing?" I asked. He jumped.

"Sorry," I said, walking towards him. "Did I scare you?"

"No...I was just watching if your dad was leaving. I heard the conversation. That was...sort of hilarious, really," he replied.

"You're such an ass," I told him, laughing.

Josh took me in his arms and laid my head against his chest, his hand on the back of my hair. We sat on my bed. "I can't believe everything that happened today," he told me, sighing. "I can," I said, grinning. He looked down towards me. "Yeah...and it was all really nice. I really like you, Hayley. I really, really like you."

"I like you too, Josh," I replied, on the verge of giggling.

"Not even really, really like me?" he asked playfully.

"Okay," I said, sighing, "I really, really, really, super really like you," I smiled. "Was that good?"

Josh laughed at me. "Perfect."

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I WROTE A LOT! Wow, I hope you like it! I loved everything that happened in this chapter. Don't forget to leave your comments on my YouTube channel, or leave comments on this post if you have a Blogger account. If you don't have a YouTube sorry that you can't comment, but it would be really nice to hear your comments! If you are a reader and support this series I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it. Thanks so much..and there is surely more of Josh and Hayley to come! I cannot stop thinking about this series..but just wait for Chapter 15! There's Para-MORE to come!!