My Heart CH.19

My Heart: A Joshayley Story
CHAPTER 19

HAYLEY'S POV:
Outside of school, the second week of December, on a chilly Monday morning, Josh and I stood on the school track, our fingers intertwined. He bent over down at my level to kiss me in the most gentle, innocent way possible, his head tilted in a slight angle. Little did I know other eyes were watching.

JAELYN'S POV:
When I saw that...my heart sank to the very bottom of my body. I don't know exactly why, I thought I was way over him, way over whatever Josh and I were before, but once I saw him kiss Hayley Williams...I nearly died. No, there's no overdramaticness here, I was very close to being knocked down by the mere impact that kiss had on me. I felt tears begin at the rims of my eyes, and with a quick gesture I wiped the water away and walked off. I couldn't take more. I didn't like what was happening at all. When I approached Alexa and Madison, the tears came coming down, I knew they had seen me like this before. They took me in their arms openly.
"Jaelyn..." Madison began, "What the hell is going on?"
There was absolutely no sign of concern in her voice. I didn't need friends like this. I wanted true friends, which I couldn't get because of this dumbass school. Everyone basically hated me...and I had no choice but to hate them as well.
I continued to cry and take their false pity. "I...I...saw...Ha...Hayley and J...Josh.." I began, trying to breathe deeply and snap everything back into perspective. "Madison, they kissed!" I said, my voice building to near scream. "And they've been hiding it from this school the whole time," I added.
I wiped my eyes and stood up straight. "Your make up is running," Alexa pointed out. I know stupid, didn't need to point it out. "Fuck! Fuck!" I exclaimed, no particular reason why. Swearing helped me calm myself down, I guess.
"I don't want to hear that language in this school!" A teacher scolded, glaring over our direction with devilish eyes.
"Yeah, sure," I replied, rudeness coated in my words. The teacher nodded her head and walked away.
I rolled my eyes and blew the hair on my face away. "I want...no, I need to destroy Hayley Williams."
"Uh, why can't you just let it go?" Madison asked obnoxiously. I glared back at her, completely repulsed at her suggestion. "Are you kidding?" I asked.
"What did she ever do to you, anyways?" Alexa added. I rolled my eyes. "Look, she's taken everything away already. And now she needs to loose it all. Is that an explanation for you two or do I need to talk slower for you to comprehend?"
The two just rolled their eyes back at me and I frowned back. There was nothing that topped the anger that burned like fire in my system.

HAYLEY'S POV:
Walking to science was extremely awkward. Usually nobody would stare like they did, but they stopped and did stare. It was normal as I walked, but every time I passed someone they would look at me with curiosity, like I was something to be studied. What was going on here? Josh caught up to me in class and sat down.
"There is way too much staring going on in this school." I said with a shaky voice. "Did you tell?"
Josh's head darted back to look at me. "No! Of course not. I made a promise."
I sighed quietly. "Then why are they all looking at me? Haven't you noticed?"
Josh shook his head, his beautiful brown hair shaking along. "They must be so enticed by how beautiful you are."
I punched him in the arm, not needing the attempt at cheesiness and flattery. "Ow!" He yelped. I laughed. "That's what you get."
Science was over fast, and as Josh and I walked down the halls, the stares of the eyes burning holes in my head, so uncomfortable.
I dragged Josh over to our lockers. "Someone has spilled," I whispered.
"Not me. I swear!" He replied.
"I know, I know bu-" before I spoke any longer, Zac passed and I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, lightly shoving him against the locker.
He let out a quick scream. "Did you tell them about Josh and I?" I asked sharply. He shook his head nervously. "No! I didn't! Because I know what you'd do to me if I did. Which I didn't!!" I let him go, believing him. "Then who did?"

Jaelyn passed us with a grin during language arts and social studies. It was mischievous, and...evil? Her eyes were glazed with an icy cold stare, breaking me down like acid. She greeted me coldly. I didn't know why she even greeted me at all.

Those two periods were times where it was hard to focus. I heard Jaelyn whisper my name more than once, and I needed to know what the hell she was talking about. Maybe talking crap behind my back...not sure, but whatever it was it needed to quit bugging me. Since when did I think or care of what people thought of me? I never wanted that to get in my way, though it usually did. Josh managed to listen intently, not even noticing a thing. He must be a veteran at this, having eyes staring at him and people talking about him. Who wouldn't want to do those things...especially with Josh Farro as the subject? I felt incredibly alone at the moment, wondering what Jaelyn was spreading around.

Could it be her who knew that Josh and I were an item?

"Hayley, you have no clue how much of a lucky bitch you are," Some random person from class whispered to me, emphasizing the word bitch like it didn't insult me at all.
"What?" I replied, the disgusting anxiety sinking into me, so utterly powerful that it threatened to overwhelm me completely.
"Like you don't know," She said with a tone of disbelief. "If only I was you. Why hide it, seriously? You are so lucky. I'm Amanda, by the way."
I nodded along, feeling my face freeze. "What am I hiding?" I asked.
Amanda laughed. "Josh Farro. You two are going out, right? It's all over the school!"
I gulped. "Crap."
Amanda's expression switched to confusion. "Is there something wrong?"
"Nobody was supposed to know," I replied quietly. "Oh...well.." she began, probably lost for words, inching upon guilty. "I know Jaelyn has been spreading it around."
"Oh I know that now," I replied angrily. "And she never was supposed to."
Amanda frowned along with me. "I didn't know. I'm so sorry. It feels gross to know something you shouldn't."
I shook my head. "No, it's not your fault...thanks for telling me."

I stormed off into the lunch room and sat next to Josh. "Secret's out!" I announced, placing my forehead in my hands, looking down at the lunch table. Josh wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "And the big deal is?" He asked.
I shrugged his arm off. "Well how did Jaelyn find out in the first place?"
"She said she saw us kissing at the field. That's what people have been saying, at least," Josh replied, in a manner that was so undisturbed it was like he didn't care at all.
"You know, at least it's one secret we won't have to hide anymore."
I guessed that he was right...there was no big deal. "Yeah, yeah."
I placed my head on his shoulder. "Now I can cuddle you in public, too," Josh added. I smiled a little.
Luke joined us, his expression hurt in a way. "I didn't know about you two," he said in a hushed tone. "How long has it been going on?"
"Few months I guess," Josh replied, his tone confident inching upon arrogant. "It was kind of our thing, we only wanted Zac to know."
"I hope Jaelyn won't do anything evil," Luke said, stressing the word 'evil'. "She might. Who knows how soon."

The following day was not as awkward as the first, now that everyone knew it was no surprise to see holding hands and such. When I woke late night on Wednesday (I thought the habit of waking up in the middle of the night was done and over with...apparently not), I heard two voices screaming at each other...too close to be coming from the neighbors.
One I could identify out as mom, and the other deep one I could not identify as well. I tried to ignore it, I honestly tried, yet the building fear inside of me stroke up my curiosity. I held my hands against the stair rail, palms sweating, and in my head I recalled that horrible night when the robber had almost struck me with a knife. I cringed.
Quietly, slowly, I descended down the stairs, suddenly taken aback by the abrupt holler that shook the house's foundations.

"What's going on?" I mumbled toward my parents, and a sudden silence awashed the room as I appeared.
Mom stood in front of the door, her eyes wet and red, and I only rushed to her and held her in my arms, my only attempt at comfort.
My dad stood in front of the door, surprised by me appearing there, and his face seemed to contemplate something as he watched the depressing display of my mother and I, arms around each other.
But he seemed to decide something though, despite the sight, and turned without another word.
"Where's he going?" I asked worriedly.
Mom just shook her head, unlatching herself from me and walked upstairs slowly. The scene was over, I knew that, but I needed to know what the hell had happened.
"What's going on?!" I yelled now, no response coming from my mother. I pulled the door open with force, and saw my own dad placing bags into the trunk of his car. "Where are you going?" I asked, demanding an answer.
Ignoring me, he pulled open the car door. I knocked loudly on the window as he put the keys into the ignition.
"Stop!" I called, as the car's engine roared to life. My father's face was cold and hard, somewhat like a mask now...scaring me completely. He was not the father I knew. He was a stranger.
Tears formed as I slowly realized what was happening. He was leaving us. Leaving me and my mother.
The water poured, blurring my image, but I ran and ran after that car until I finally paused in the middle of the street, sobbing to myself, collapsing on the concrete.
I cried hard, breathing, trying to figure out what my future was...and all in the midst of that moment I realized my whole world would change forever.

At home, mom never showed for dinner, she didn't even show for breakfast in the morning. I didn't even bother making one, my head was laid down on the dinner table, and I was silent.

JOSH'S POV:
I looked down at my watch...yet again. Why wasn't Hayley here? I began worrying and wondering. The bell rang again, and I took one last glance at the parking lot before I left to class. That bright ball of energy still wasn't here, and I wished I knew why.

Science was dead boring. Jaelyn glared over my direction every second or so, her eyes then flickering toward the empty seet beside me.
She approached me while we were working on a worksheet.
"I need some ideas," she began, "I am so stuck." Her attitude did not phase me.
"You just need to write what you feel about this," I mumbled quietly.
"Well that's exactly it," she replied, "I don't know what to write."
Jaelyn flashed her fake smile toward me, obviously flirting. "It's a personal thing. I think you need to write for yourself. I can't tell you."
She scoffed and rolled her eyes. "You really don't want to be even friends, Josh?" I stared back at her with an expression every ex-boyfriend is capable of making at their manipulative, used to be girlfriend. I'd say it was a mix of anger and frustration, but based on the way my eyebrows pulled together and my eyes felt hard and cold, I knew there was more to it than that.
"After all you've gone to Hayley, after you hurt her and spread something you knew you didn't need to, you expect us to be friends?" I almost spit out the word, venomous. "You're not even worthy to be friends with, Jaelyn. Especially after what you did to me."

The passing periods were a blur, and lunch was horrible. I stared at the food and picked at it like I had nothing better to do in the world.
"Josh?" Luke asked, concerned. One of the people who claimed to know Hayley, a girl named Amanda from Ms. Stoke's class, sat with us.
"I haven't seen Hayley here at all," she mentioned. "I think that's the problem," Luke added, gesturing toward me. "Did something happen between you guys?"
I shook my head softly, not bothering to look up. "I guess Hayley completes you, then, doesn't she?" Amanda said.
I looked up at her. I couldn't deny it. "I think that's just it. The whole school day has been boring without her...almost horrible, actually," I said, finally speaking. "I think I...I love her."

Once that final bell rung I walked straight toward Hayley's house and softly knocked on the door. Nobody answered.
"Hayley?" I called.
Still no answer.
"Hayles." I called again.
Finally, someone opened the door. I was greeted by her mother, though the normal spark in her eyes were not present. She seemed...depressed. "Hayley is upstairs, Josh," she said, her tone bored, uninterested. Something wrong had definitely happened.

I walked upstairs cautiously, wondering how to greet her. Her bedroom door was open. Hayley was laying on her bed, her back facing me. "Hayles?" I whispered, suddenly afraid of the girl I loved.
"Hey," She turned over, her hair all messy. Her eyes were glossy, she had definitely been crying. "Something...wrong?" I asked patherically, approaching her.
Hayley sat up quietly, rubbing her eyes like a waking child.
"I'm fine," she began. "I guess there's just been a lot going on."
I sat by her. She looked so tired, so hopeless. "So what did I miss today?" She asked in a hushed tone.
I stared back at her, feeling horrible, feeling her pain. "You didn't miss much," I answered. She scooted closer to me, wrapping herself around me. "I just need this right now, okay?" She said, her voice so soft. I wrapped my arms around her small frame. "Of course, Hayles."
She sniffed. "So much happened," Hayley began. I was relieved to know she was ready to explain. And all I did was listen.
"My dad...he left."
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Poor Hayley...
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